When death occurs, it is said “Yama” comes. What is Yama?
Yama – means self
Niyama – means rules for oneself
Sayama means control over self
Death means meeting yourself
When you meet yourself at death, you still have unfulfilled desires, guilt (afsos), happiness, sadness. you still are not in niyantran (steady). That is why you keep on moving, keep getting deluded. Thus you are incomplete.
What is yama dwar?
Before entering yama dwar (door of death), you do pradakshina (circumambulation) 3 times. Pradikshina means complete as it is a circle. Pradakshina 3 times at yama dwar means you complete your 3 bodies – physical, astral and causal. When your 3 bodies are complete and when you enter yama dwar means you completely know yourself then when you leave yama dwar it becomes moksha dwar (door of liberation) and you get moksha (liberation).
When you die, you lose physical body. You lose your senses (indriyo) but your desires, mind, everything else comes with you. Through your physical body you always went outside through your senses. Thus you did not know how to go inside once physical body is gone. You can’t go inside and thus you are directionless (bhamya). Such a person needs satisfaction (trupti).
Rituals at the time of death
• Light a lamp (divo) at time of death. Divo means light to light up direction in which he should proceed & progress.
• Just before death – put gangajal (water of Ganga) in mouth or tulsi leaf. Ganga is pure and when dying man drinks this, his thought goes towards ganga & purity. Ganga is connected with Shiv, thus dying person will think of Shiv. Similarly, tulsi is connected with Vishnu, thus dying person will think of Vishnu. This process is a kind of mind diversion. Thoughts at time of death lead you in that direction after death. Putting gangajal or tulsi after death has no meaning.
• When someone dies, the soul still remains there. Very few progress immediately to next stage. Such souls try to fulfil their unfulfilled desires. They try to connect with a person who is a “receiver” and can receive their transmitted thoughts.
• At time of death, put songs of God or Bhajans. If dying person listens to it, again he will think of God at time of death. However, gangajal or tulsi are more effective as they are associated with physical touch.
After death continue bhajan, kirtan – The soul gets peace & can progress further.
• After death, the soul can still see everyone, can read everyone’s emotions. He then realises whom he trusted is not trustful, then he will be more directionless. Thus silence is important. He can hear what people are talking but cannot read anyone’s mind.
• For 13 days, it is maatam or shok (period of mourning). It is period of grief as the soul is there for 13 days. During shok – one must keep silence in respect, do prayer for him, remember him with love to pray for his progress.
• Sutak – means restriction to the family members. At that time, family members are in fragile mind set, they are more in negative thoughts, they have no control over themselves. At that family members should not go to pavitra (pure) places, should not touch home temple, should not do devo (lamp) in home temple or light agarbatti (incense stick). If there is a niyama (rule) for such a thing then it should be done mentally. Devo can be done outside the temple. Devo can also be done near dead person’s photo to pray for his progress. Till the time, mind is in this state, it is called sutak. Thus, sutak can be few days to months.
• When a person dies, people cry in selfishness. They don’t cry for him.
If you want the dead person to progress, put him in padmasan (lotus posture) after death. Padmasan means pyramid. The soul is attracted to his body. When he sees his body is pyramid, he will connect to God. If you cannot keep a fat body in padmasan, then keep him in savasan (dead man posture). Put hands in gyan mudra.
• Do mantra jaap (Chant god’s name). Do not use prayer bead.
• Give suggestion to the soul– please go towards your progress.
• You do not need to give bath to the body. Sometimes while dying, they pass urine or pass stools. Thus to maintain cleanliness, you may give bath.
• Take body as quickly to cemetery as possible. The cord of body & soul should break. In case of death at night, you can take body to cemetery after brahma Murat. Do not take after sunset & till brahma Murat. At that time negative forces are more, most of them are in search of a body to do experiments. So do not take in this period.
• Do tilak over dead body, apply abil, gulal, garland with sukhad mala – as if you are preparing to go on a trip – you are wishing him a good trip.
• You take hot coals along with it. Coal is fossilized bodies. By burning coal, you release so many dead bodies. Thus, you also release so many souls along with this person.
• At the cemetry, you do pradakshina of body with a cracked pot filled with water, cracked pot denotes dead body & water denotes soul. By doing pradakshina, you make circle to make it complete. Then you break the pot to tell the soul that how you leave your body and go.
• Do charity for the soul, give food to poor. Do not feed people in house as they become karajdar (debtor) of the dead person. Charity cannot be done at home. Out of home there is no karajdar.
• You can do havan, pooja for the soul outside the house. You cannot do it at home. With this you can indirectly abolish his bad karma (sins).
• You wear white cloths as white gives peace to a troubled mind. You can put lily flowers to remove mental & physical tiredness. Once your mind is stable, you can put champa flowers at home. After sutak is over, you can get rose. Rose is very pure so don’t get earlier. Pink colour & white clothes, Om namah shiva cassette in evenings are useful.
• Don’t put flower on dead body as live flowers cannot be killed. Dried flower with fragrance such as sukhad garland can be put on dead body.
Why you go bald at time of death in family?
Hair is a good receiver. By removing all hair except the choti, the choti becomes the antenna can receive messages from the soul. If you don’t want to receive messages, then you may not do mundane (remove the hair).
- These are topics of various aspects of spirituality as told by Para.